The Wrong Lizard

by rsmck

So, in a tumultuous week in UK politics our Prime Minister resigned after losing a referendum he didn't want to hold in the first place which was basically the result of trying to appease some internal party squabbling.

Now, when an MP resigns, we hold a by-election allowing for their replacement to be voted in.

Based on this approach - When the PM resigns, you'd expect an election, but instead we have more internal party squabbling and it seems they've boiled down to two;

Angela Leadsom
  • Lies on her CV
  • Doesn't support equal marriage
  • Worried about 'offending Christians'
  • Claims god has spoken to her directly
  • Wants to kill foxes
Theresa May
  • Opposes privacy and security
  • Doesn't understand the Internet, but wants to regulate it
  • Doesn't seem to understand immigration either, but wants to curb it.

So, either way we're left with someone as our PM that will set us back years, being that little backward-thinking island again, wanting to cut itself off from the rest of the EU.

The Wrong Lizard

The late Douglas Adams phrased it rather eloquently;

“On its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people.”

“Odd,” said Arthur, “I thought you said it was a democracy.”

“I did,” said Ford. “It is.”

“So,” said Arthur, hoping he wasn’t sounding ridiculously obtuse, “why don’t the people get rid of the lizards?”

“It honestly doesn’t occur to them,” said Ford. “They’ve all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they’ve voted in more or less approximates to the government they want.”

“You mean they actually vote for the lizards?”

“Oh yes,” said Ford with a shrug, “of course.”

“But,” said Arthur, going for the big one again, “why?”

“Because if they didn’t vote for a lizard,” said Ford, “the wrong lizard might get in.”

"Some people say that the lizards are the best thing that ever happenned to them," he said. "They're completely wrong of course, completely and utterly wrong, but someone's got to say it."

"But that's terrible," said Arthur.

"Listen, bud," said Ford, "if I had one Altairian dollar for every time I heard one bit of the Universe look at another bit of the Universe and say 'That's terrible' I wouldn't be sitting here like a lemon looking for a gin.”

- Douglas Adams